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Visitor's General
Etiquette Questions
Question:
Rebecca,
You
helped me so much with other problems. I have another question that I have always wondered about. It is okay for someone without
disabilities to use the handicapped stall in a restroom? Especially if all of the other stalls are full, such as a sporting
event?
Thank
you!
Reply:
Hello Visitor,
Welcome
back!
Great question. It is perfectly fine to do so as long as there is no one else in need. Sometimes
those with disabilities do not appear to have a problem, like those with MS. Those with MS and other aliments may need
to use the toilet right away—no bladder control. So, we never really know who needs these besides those in wheelchairs.
Although, the stalls are larger to accommodate the chairs. We do need to keep this is mind.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
Question:
Hello,
What is the most polite way to tell someone that they are mispronouncing your name?
Would the same rules apply to different situations such as social and business?
Would the same rules apply to a child telling a teacher or another adult?
Thank you in advance for your help.
Visitor from Rockledge, Florida
Reply:
Hello visitor from Rockledge, Florida,
I believe the most polite way to inform someone
of this is to do so right away. Perhaps, "I'm sorry, but my name is a bit difficult to pronounce; it is..." This
method could be used in all situations.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
Question:
Hello!
Thanks so much for coming to Sandia today;
I thoroughly enjoyed the etiquette workshop.
I thought of a question on the way home; I'm kind of
embarrassed to ask, but since I really would like to know what you think, here's the question: What do you do if you
do something *really* stupid? By *really* stupid, here's what I had in mind (this actually happened): The philosophy
department (professors and majors) had lunch in the dining commons one day. The chair of the department introduced
himself to me since we hadn't been formally introduced; we shook hands, and in doing so knocked over a glass of water.
He was apologetic; I felt it was more my fault but was too mortified to say anything (I'm laughing now, though). Anyway,
do you have any suggestions for really bad accidents?
Thanks!
Visitor
Reply:
Dear Visitor,
Thank you so much.
Stupid? No way. That was not in any way
stupid. It was an accident.
The best way to approach something like that, and believe me it will
happen again, is to treat it lightly. You could apologize and then joke about spilling water being good luck. Of
course, cleaning up the water would be a good thing.
Don't worry about these little things. It is
always the person you are that people will notice.
Have a wonderful day and please visit again soon.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
Question:
Dear Rebecca,
Please enlighten me on the correct posture for entering a
car, and alighting from it. Yes, you may publish my question and answer.
Thanking you,
Visitor
Reply:
Dear Visitor,
I am assuming you are asking about a woman's posture.
Women have to be very careful not to seem immodest. Also, this is the best way when wearing a dress or skirt. Enter the
vehicle by turning your back to the seat, both feet outside of the vehicle, and sit. Swing both legs into the vehicle
at once. Stepping out of the vehicle is just the reverse. Shift your weight onto your outside hip and turn towards
the open door swinging both legs out of the vehicle at once. Then stand.
I hope this is helpful. Please visit often.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Black
Question:
I have an etiquette question regarding an old acquaintance
who I haven't seen in a while and is near death. I am told he only has a week or so to live and I was wondering what
is, if anything, appropriate to bring to the house or to the family when we go to visit him.
Please advise, as I have never been in this position before
and don't want to do anything wrong.
Thank you so much.
Visitor
Reply:
Dear Visitor,
I am very sorry that you are be reunited with your acquaintance
at such a difficult and painful time.
Traditionally people would bring food to the family at
times such as these, so the family wouldn't have to think about preparing meals and would be able to devote all of their
time to the ill family member. Sometimes, visitors offer to sit with the ill family member to give a much needed rest
to the care-giver. But, this was usually done by close friends, family, and neighbors.
You needn't worry about making such an offer, or taking
anything besides your love and caring for your ill friend and the family. This is what is needed most.
Thank you for your question and please visit again soon.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
Question:
Dear Rebecca,
Can you please tell me what kind of dishes are best for serving
with red wine?
Best regards,
Visitor from Sofia, Bulgaria
Reply:
Dear Visitor from Sofia, Bulgaria,
There are many styles of wine, so this question
is a bit difficult. First, the darker the wine, typically the fuller the body. The body style is the texture and
weight of the wine, think skim milk, to heavy cream. Some lighter reds (Chianti or Beaujolais) have more acid which
would pair with more food--heavier wines (Cabernet) usually don't.
Look for some fruit or pepper flavor because that would
match with many dishes, such as a Pino Noir or a Cabernet Franc. I just had a lighter style Syrah, very much a Rhone
style, and it had a blackberry flavor that went very well with a lightly seasoned prime rib, asparagus and roasted potatoes.
However, an Australian, or Rhone style Syrah would go with just about anything that didn't have acidic tomato sauce--sautéed
chicken, with dry tomatoes, (a few) capers, and cream.
Be careful about a wine that has a lot of oak flavor
because it is difficult to pair; it would be like pairing two dishes with heavy seasonings. Heavy oak tastes like
vanilla and butterscotch.
Start with something you already know, trust yourself.
If you think that the wine would be good in a sauce to cover it, generally it would taste good along side it. I like
to add a generous amount of wine into stews and marinara and I drink the same wine with the dish--usually a Cabernet with
many stews and Chianti or Sangiovese with Italian.
Be brave: I recently had a piece of grilled tuna,
with sautéed onions, on top of a grilled Portobello mushroom, paired with a nice Sangiovese. The fruit in the wine made
it a match made in heaven.
Mushrooms have an earthy flavor that can help you pair
heavier wines to a dish.
Mirror flavors and weight. Match heavy to heavy,
light to light, like a heavy Cabernet with a roast or stew, or a broiled salmon fillet with a nice Pino Noir. Or, you
could contrast. Choose a Gamay Beaujolais to serve with a fried fish, as long as the spices don't conflict.
Speaking of spices take them into consideration. Also, sauces matter, you can bridge the wine and the food through
a sauce made with the wine.
Bottom line, a Pino Noir, Gamay, Beaujolais (it is made
with the Gamay grape), or a Sangiovese, in my opinion, will be your most versatile red wines. Perhaps use the wine
in cooking the dish or choose seasonings that help pair the two. Rosemary tastes like pine and sometimes helps bridge
wine with food. Of course, salt helps bring all of it together.
Most of the wines I mentioned are from America because
that is what I am most used to. I am not a wine expert. I just teach Wine Etiquette--everything about sharing
wine. I have been teaching my students how to learn more about pairing, which is what I have shared with you.
I sincerely hope this helps you.
Please let me know. And, please visit again soon.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
Question:
Hi,
When someone invites you to their home for a barbeque or
dinner whether party or not family or not should you bring something (exp. desert, bottle of wine etc.) or does it matter
if you show up empty handed?
Thanks
Visitor
Reply:
Dear Visitor,
Thank you for your question.
It is always best to take some sort of little gift when
invited to someone's home. Wine is always a good choice, as are flowers. I would refrain from taking a dessert,
only because the host may already have one planned. Once, a friend gave me a book as a hostess gift. It was not
new; he had already read it, but he knew I would appreciate it. I loved it.
The most important thing to remember as a guest is to
thank the host and enjoy your time together.
Please visit again soon and have a great weekend.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Black
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